Support during times of need (From Gazette Series)

Support during times of need

RELATIONSHIP counselling service Relate is forever moving with the times. Several years ago the service changed its name from Marriage Guidance to Relate as a reflection of the era.In a further move, the service has opened a series of outposts to make counselling easier to access - an outpost opens in Dursley on February 17. Feature writer KIRSTY RAMSDEN met the manager of Relate for Gloucestershire and Swindon, Ken Hitchings, to find out more.

THE POLICY of Relate, explained county manager Ken Hitchings, is to bring counselling to people rather than them having travel to centres.

To this end Gloucestershire and Swindon county has opened outposts in Coleford, Stroud and Moreton-in-Marsh.

Dursley's outpost opens later this month at the town's parish centre and the service is looking to open in Cirencester and Tewkesbury next year.

"This is so people living locally have less far to travel," said Mr Hitchings.

The Dursley service will be open each Tuesday for four hours and will include a receptionist and counsellor.

Those wishing to use Relate's Dursley service will have to call either the Cheltenham or Gloucester centres for an appointment.

The receptionist's role is voluntary and Mr Hitchings is at present appealing for someone willing to take up the post.

He explained the volunteer welcomes the individual or couple to make them feel at home.

Attending counselling can be traumatic, especially as the individual or couples already have problems, said Mr Hitchings.

"So the receptionist needs to be understanding, sympathetic and non-judgmental," he added.

Counsellors are paid.

"The quality and standard of counsellor is so high to attract the right person we have to pay because we demand so much time," he added.

The training to become a counsellor involves attending a selection conference.

Candidates are generally educated to degree or equivalent level.

The selection process, explained Mr Hitchings, was rigorous.

If selected the candidate undergoes a year's intense training which includes theory, written and practical work.

Training is on-going and includes one and half hours supervision a month for all counsellors.

Mr Hitchings said counsellors were from "all walks of life" but tended to be people who had had experience of life.

He explained users of the Relate service could expect complete confidentiality.

He said: "Counsellors don't even know the surnames of couples."

Couples have an initial consultation appointment where the counsellors take a history and discuss the problems.

At the first appointment the counsellor will say if he or she feels the couple is suitable for counselling.

Mr Hitchings said the average length of counselling was four to five sessions.

It was difficult, he said, to quantify the success of sessions and, indeed, what was a successful outcome.

He said: "What is success - staying together or parting amicably?

"It is how the couple are after the counselling.

"In a huge amount of cases couples stay together and their quality of life improves."

He explained the ethos surrounding counselling had changed over the years.

He said: "People are more aware of counselling than they used to be.

"Everyone in a relationship goes through a sticky patch and sticky patches can get worse.

"We are here to help when people are troubled."

The outpost services elsewhere in the county have proved popular.

Mr Hitchings explained the Stroud outpost was launched a year ago and now employs two counsellors and has a waiting list whereby those wanting to use the service have to travel to Gloucester instead.

Relate, however, does more than provide counselling for couples.

The organisation also provides psycho-sexual therapy.

Mr Hitchings explained this service was easier to quantify and reported a success rate in excess of 90 per cent.

Within the county Relate runs "new life" courses to help those who are separated or divorced get their lives back together,

Relate also runs mentoring courses for schools which can include identifying bullying or training older students help younger ones.

The service also runs workplace sessions including stress management courses.

After 30 years as a photographer, Mr Hitchings saw an ad for the county manager's job and thought "this is something I can do".

He now runs the county service which includes almost 30 counsellors and more than 60 people involved in the organisation.

He said: "We provide something in excess of 4,500 hours of counselling a year."

The organisation has been running nationally for more than 60 years and now has 80 main centres throughout the country.

Relate changed its name from Marriage Guidance several years ago to reflect changes in society - couples seeking help were not necessarily married.

In fact, explained Mr Hitchings, people are not even asked if they are married when they book an interview with a counsellor.

The service does charge for counselling sessions but it also gains grants from local authorities , money from fund-raising and relies on volunteers, said Mr Hitchings.

To volunteer as a receptionist at the Dursley outpost or to make an appointment with Relate call 01452 522071 or 01242 523215.