Most of us never watch a film now without reading a little bit about the plot – things like Netflix, IMDb, and cinema websites just make it very easy. But if you’re feeling particularly lazy, it’s possible you might go and see a film based entirely on the title alone.
Here are a few that have the potential to leave you very disappointed with your choice.
1. The African Queen
Sounds like: It should be about, well, an African queen.
Reality: It’s about a boat. Being sailed by two very non-African people.
2. American Pie
Sounds like: A homely romance set at an all-American baking contest.
Reality: There is nothing homely about American Pie.
3. Brazil
Sounds like: A film that should be set in Brazil.
Reality: A film set in a messed-up Terry Gilliam vision of the future – where Robert De Niro plays a terrorist freelance heating engineer.
4. The Constant Gardener
Sounds like: It should be set in the leafy suburbs somewhere (perhaps Buckinghamshire).
Reality: Largely set in the slums of Nairobi, as a widower uncovers systemic corruption in an attempt to solve his wife’s murder.
5. Enter The Dragon
Sounds like: A film about dragons.
Reality: No dragons.
6. Fish Tank
Sounds like: A lovely animated movie about life in a fishtank.
Reality: An artsy film about a precocious teen from Essex who becomes interested in dance.
7. In The Heat Of The Night
Sounds like: A sexy thriller, or romance, or something. But definitely sexy!
Reality: An African American detective gets arrested and brutalised for straying into a Southern town after a murder.
8. The Iron Lady
Sounds like: A feminist reboot of Iron Man.
Reality: A biopic of Margaret Thatcher (although Brits especially might have guessed this, the Iron Man assumption genuinely happened when this was released).
9. It’s A Wonderful Life
Sounds like: It should be happy.
Reality: It’s not.
10. Million Dollar Baby
Sounds like: An emotional drama about buying a child. For one million dollars.
Reality: A surprisingly emotional drama about boxing.
11. Monster’s Ball
Sounds like: The film that should come after Monster’s University.
Reality: A racist prison guard falls for the widow of the last prisoner he executed.
12. Octopussy
Sounds like: An adult film about a cephalopod fetish.
Reality: One of the most sleazily titled Bond films ever.
13. Pineapple Express
Sounds like: One man pulls out all the stops to get the pineapple harvest to market on time.
Reality: No pineapples. Lots of cannabis.
14. Quantum Of Solace
Sounds like: A really confusing, artsy sci-fi movie with at least 10 straight minutes of “space silence”.
Reality: A Bond movie. HANG ON, WHAT?! This is surely the most poorly named Bond movie ever…
15. Reservoir Dogs
Sounds like: It should involve either a reservoir or at least one dog.
Reality: A bunch of paranoid jewellery thieves turning on each other with Tarantino levels of brutality.
16. Rush Hour
Sounds like: A thriller in which something terrible happens on the evening commute.
Reality: A slightly racist police caper in which Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker make the most improbable “buddies” ever.
17. Some Like It Hot
Sounds like: A romance set in an Indian takeaway.
Reality: Two cross-dressing crooks fall in love with Marilyn Monroe.
18. Source Code
Sounds like: One of those “thrillers” about hackers. Yawn.
Reality: Jake Gyllenhaal is stuck in a time-travelling mind bender in which he has to defuse a bomb.
19. Space Jam
Sounds like: An intergalactic DJ-ing competition.
Reality: The Looney Tunes take on a bunch of aliens at basketball, and Michael Jordan helps out.
20. Submarine
Sounds like: A deep sea adventure, probably set in the Cold War.
Reality: A whimsical coming-of-age comedy penned by Moss from The IT Crowd.
21. Three Kings
Sounds like: A Biblical epic.
Reality: A Gulf War farce.
22. Trainspotting
Sounds like: A rather nerdy film about, well, trainspotting.
Reality: An eye-watering look at Edinburgh’s heroin scene in which one character makes a terrible mess of his bed.
23. Tyrannosaur
Sounds like: A cool film about dinosaurs.
Reality: A harrowing look at alcoholism and domestic abuse.
24. Whiplash
Sounds like: One of those films were the plot summary says: “…and then a car accident changed everything.”
Reality: It’s about a bully and a drum kit.
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