STROUD’S most miserable poet, Bill Jones, will be hosting the John Street Social Club at SVA this Friday, from 7pm to 11pm.

“Get the inevitable disappointment of Valentine’s Day over early by coming to Friday 13th: Unlucky in Love, a night of heartache and misery,” he said.

“If you would like to contribute by reading a poem or true story, you will be very welcome.

“DJ Cousin It will be playing relentlessly sad songs, and I will be compèring the event in the character of my gloomy poet, Miserable Malcolm.

“Plus there will be short film clips featuring romantic unhappiness.

“Let the sadness begin!”