TO put the case for the proposed helicopter base between Almondsbury and Bradley Stoke, a one act play will be premiered at Turnberrie's in Thornbury at noon on July 7.

It’s a one man show with two teddy-bear glove puppets (one dressed as a police officer, the other in a suit and flying helmet), their handler dimly perceivable in black and with a black hood. From off stage, a calm disembodied voice joins in; the puppets speak in unison.

This is how it goes:

Puppet Fantasists: We’re homeless; we have to move our HeliBase to Almondsbury.

Voice of Reason: You can’t, it’s green belt.

Puppet Fantasists: We don’t care, it’s coming to Almondsbury!

Voice of Reason: To take over green belt you must prove you have no alternative.

Puppet Fantasists: Aren’t you listening, we’re homeless, we have to leave Filton!

Voice of Reason: Leave Filton? But you obtained a legally binding agreement that you can stay on there permanently.

Puppet Fantasists: We didn’t mean it; that was just ‘procedural’.

Voice of Reason: It’s in writing, approved by the highest court in South Gloucestershire only four weeks ago.

Puppet Fantasists: Aren’t you listening? It’s meaningless! We want to come to Almondsbury!

Voice of Reason: But you made a threat to get that legal agreement; it must have been important.

Puppet Fantasists: We were pretending. Filton will be just too dusty and difficult with all that building; the navvies and big lorries and cranes and stuff. AL-MONS-BREE! AL-MONS-BREE! AL-MONS-BREE!

Voice of Reason: You don’t have to worry about that. The site owners, the developers, the contractors all have to work without endangering you or disrupting your flying. That’s in writing too.

Puppet Fantasists: In writing? It must be just ‘procedural’. Ignore it!

Voice of Reason: But the binding agreement for a permanent home and the safe working practices mean you cannot move to green belt.

Puppet Fantasists: We’re coming, we are, we are! It will be so nice and green; we can sunbathe on our lovely grass, play football and have picnics! And it’s near the shops. Please, please, please let us come! We’re just too nice to say ‘No’ to.

CURTAIN

Julian Stinton

The Hill

Almondsbury