Former Geordie Shore star Vicky Pattison has said her urge to have children is now “impossible to ignore”.

Pattison, who is in a relationship with Towie’s Ercan Ramadan, shared a lengthy post with her 4.4 million Instagram followers in which she detailed her struggle to conceive after years of “prolific partying”.

The 31-year-old said she had never considered the “ramifications” of her lifestyle, which played out in front of the nation on MTV, and that motherhood had not been “a role” she had wanted to play.

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This is a picture of me the morning that I had to collect my results from the fertility clinic. I am usually quite a strong, together woman- but on that morning I felt like a scared little girl. Tormented by the possibility that my childish decisions over the years may have stopped me from being able to have a baby. Until recently motherhood has not been something that I considered- it wasn’t a role I wanted to play. But since turning 30 & almost getting married- since feeling like I was maturing as a person the desire to become a mother is something that has grown inside me & even though my circumstances changed- I couldn’t turn off that feeling. Something has awoken inside of me & it’s impossible to ignore. I have lived a life of excess- there’s no hiding from that- my most prolific partying days were well recorded & broadcasted for all to see on @mtvuk- I’ve slut dropped & down jäger all over the world for people’s viewing pleasure & I have never once considered the ramifications of my lifestyle long term & in this moment, when this picture was taken- I hated myself, for being selfish, reckless & lacking the maturity to see that I could be causing great emotional distress for myself in the future. In this moment, I was all too aware of the possible consequences. Since getting my results I have endeavoured to live a healthier lifestyle, sure I still like a drink here & there- I’m not completely turning my back on gin- but this experience was a wake up call. If I want to have children I need to start looking after myself so I’ve been trying to sleep better (unsuccessfully so far but I’m working on it 😂😩) eat well & be more active.. It might look like I’ve been a proper work shy toerag this last month doing yoga in Bali & hiking in cyprus but quite frankly I’ve been trying to come to terms with the changes I need to make in my life. I don’t know for definite if motherhood is in my stars- I’d like it to be but we’ll just have to see- but what I do know is that beating myself up over my past won’t help me conceive- so I am going to stop & take control of my present & project positivity for my future. Vicky Pattison: No Filter @ 10pm on @quest_red tonight.

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However, she said something had recently “awoken” inside her and she had decided to try for a baby.

Pattison shared a photo from the morning she collected her results from a fertility clinic but did not reveal the outcome, which will be detailed on her programme Vicky Pattison: No Filter.

She said: “Until recently motherhood has not been something that I considered- it wasn’t a role I wanted to play.

“But since turning 30 & almost getting married- since feeling like I was maturing as a person the desire to become a mother is something that has grown inside me & even though my circumstances changed- I couldn’t turn off that feeling.

TRIC Awards 50th Birthday – London
Vicky Pattison attending the TRIC Awards 2019 in London (Ian West/PA)

“Something has awoken inside of me & it’s impossible to ignore.”

Pattison appeared on Geordie Shore between 2011 and 2014 but was axed from the show after assaulting a reveller and a bouncer with her shoes at a bar in Newcastle in 2013.

She went on to take part in, and win, I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here! in 2015.

She has also hosted I’m A Celebrity’s spin-off programme, as well as her own TV series Judge Geordie, and has appeared on programmes including Hunted, Ex On The Beach and Loose Women.

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One of my main goals when coming to Bali was to really focus more on my yoga. I’ve been trying to get into it for years properly and o was still just playing at it really! The odd @hotpodyoganewcastle here, a cheeky @misscharholmes morning session there- but Bali felt like the perfect place to proper immerse myself. And in this stunning setting and with the brilliant instructors at @blisssanctuaryforwomen I really feel like I’m coming along… My mam is miles better than me before anyone says anything 😂😂😂 I wouldn’t call myself a yogi or anything quite yet but there’s a definite improvement!! I basically want arms like @jenniferaniston by Christmas… too much to ask??! 😂😍

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She added: “I have lived a life of excess – there’s no hiding from that- my most prolific partying days were well recorded & broadcasted for all to see on @mtvuk- I’ve slut dropped & down jager all over the world for people’s viewing pleasure & I have never once considered the ramifications of my lifestyle long term & in this moment, when this picture was taken- I hated myself, for being selfish, reckless & lacking the maturity to see that I could be causing great emotional distress for myself in the future.

“In this moment, I was all too aware of the possible consequences.”

Pattison added that she had tried to live more healthily since receiving her results, although she continues to drink.

Recent trips to Bali and Cyprus have seen her take up yoga and hiking in an attempt to get fit, and increase her chances of conceiving.

Vicky Pattison: No Filter is on Quest Red at 10pm on Wednesday night.