This column is written from Dover Beach, St Lawrence Gap, Barbados, shaded by coconut palms and with a bottle of Banks beer to hand. The temperature is 27 degrees centigrade and there is a gentle breeze.

A half-drunk rum punch is adjacent to Mrs Light’s seat but she is not in it.

She is at the sea’s edge occasionally diving into the three foot high breakers that give the regular and reassuring sound of the sea.

This is us on holiday. What will you do there for three weeks friends ask? They must find our answer disappointing, as quite simply it is ‘nothing’.

No great trips or treks, just a number of mooch or bus rides. For a flat fare of two Bajan dollars you can take a bus to anywhere on the island, so from time to time we do.

Our hotel stay is on a room only basis and we take all the opportunities that offers us regarding dining. It is currently the start of our stay so next week’s column will tell you more.

Already we have been to morning service at the local C of E church.

A choir elegantly clad were excellent though it has to be said Mrs Light delivers shorter sermons.

The Premier League is followed closely here. Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool shirts are everywhere, worn by locals who are very well briefed. Tourists trying to impress with similar shirts had better beware. If they are drawn into conversation their lack of knowledge is soon exposed. Having seen the fine West Indian sides that graced world cricket since 1950, holding my own on talking about the greatest of games is a joy.

Some locals stretch to remembering Wycliffe Phillips who scored more runs for Barbados than he did for us in Gloucestershire.

Mrs Light has just returned, proudly stating she had managed quite a few strokes amongst the waves. She suggests an afternoon nap. Why not? We are in the “chill out” capital of the world and are going to do exactly that, but whatever happens, the pool or ocean is not for me.

A tentative toe may be stuck in the water but certainly no more. Swimming pools are absolute proof that the devil exists.