Our new agony aunt Desiree answers your problems. Our first problem comes from Clarissa of Minchinhampton

Dear Desiree - I hope this email finds you well and that you may be able to assist with a marital issue.

I have been married to my husband for nearly 30 years and we have three fabulous children and seven gorgeous grandchildren.

Our marriage has generally been a happy one but lockdown has meant I am spending more time with my husband and frankly I do not like what I am seeing.

This once charming person is slowly turning into a grumpy old man.

We no longer have conversations - I merely to listen to him ranting about coronavirus statistics, potholes and his favourite subject - Boris.

In fact I dread the news coming on as he shouts so loudly he scares our two pointers.

As lockdown eased in the summer it was lovely to hear children playing in the cul-de-sac - but I was horrified when my husband marched out and berated them for 'disrupting the public highway'.

As he walked away, one of them shouted an obscenity which resulted in a 45 minute call to 101, a long moan about the 'lack of police on the streets' and a strongly worded email to the PCC.

The final straw came last week when an incident at Tesco left me crimson with embarrassment.

My husband was having trouble with the self-service checkout and to my horror began shouting insults at the machine.

At the fifth prompt to 'please check your packing area' he bellowed 'oh shut up you imbecile' and looked as if he was about to hit it with a French stick.

A helpful assistant diffused the situation but not before other shoppers began sniggering.

Any advice would be gratefully received.



Desiree's response:

Clarrissa I do sympathise, even the most promising men can turn into Victor Meldrews in later life. You must nip this problem in the bud now or worse will follow. Find time to talk to your husband and make sure he knows how his behaviour makes you feel. He may be totally unaware that he is turning into an old moaner. Try to get him to talk positively - introduce a conversation about special moments you both share - family holidays or bringing up the children for example. Tell him you care about him but that this behaviour is worrying you and that he should focus on the positives in life. If he starts ranting again you can then refer back to this conversation - it may make him think more carefully about his behaviour.

Best wishes,